People

Everyone around her had a glass of pure water and they were drinking,
But somehow she got something like water no taste, no colour but that was a slow poison.

when everyone was thirsty they drank water and she foolishly drank that poison,
Everyone who saw this called her a fool cause she was drinking poison, All of them screamed at her not to drink poison but none of them were willing to share what they had.. She neither asked, they never gave.
With each sip her health deteriorated and eventually she died one day.
The same people again blamed her and called her a fool.No one remembered if anyone cared to share what they could.

And that’s what happens always, Everyone preach and howl and blame but someone hardly cares. I say if you don’t truly care, don’t even dare to preach even in your mind.

          Ananya Surendran 👩‍⚖️

Reminders

I rarely write positive notes, but today I reminded myself of a few🤭


🌸Read well

🌸Work as much ‘you can’ physically

🌸Make plans

🌸Dream more

🌸Keep a smile but never ever discuss your plans with demotivating people who surrounds you, by this time you very well know who they are right😉 Keep in mind not all your family, not all your friends, not all your colleagues are gonna support you. They are not the ones committed to your goals and plans, but you are, so that’s simple, you stay committed to your dreams and wishes😊

🌸And a few more things that I don’t follow but I guess I should start doing like, eat well😛 drink well,
sleep early, sleep well, rise early that itself clears so much of clutter.

🌸Shit can happen anytime, so whenever the moment it doesn’t happen stay happy and hopeful and lively and cheerful, do all the crazy naughty exciting stuffs you want,atleast try☺ believe you won’t regret.

🌸On a last note, stay kind and stay empathetic if it’s there in you.😊

Love Anu🏵

To heal.

People say time heals,
Nothing heals!

I have tried everything,
Moved out of place,
Left everything and everyone where the memories haunt!
Started new life,
Met new people,
Not intentionally, yet made new friends,
Heard their stories,
Distracted myself,
Did fall in love again,
Made relationships again,
Life changed,
Career changed,
People changed,
I changed!!
Went through all twists and turns and ups and downs and what not!
And yet, nothing healed,
I’m still stuck at the night when I got the message,
when I tried calling and it said switched off!
I’m still stuck where I did touch that coffin!
I’m still stuck when I went numb,
I remember I didn’t cry..
I felt like I suddenly got lost in a big crowd,
A very very big crowd,where there are so many people moving in and around
And I’m lost!
Ages later, And I’m still there!
But not numb anymore
I can feel that pain
And I feel the fear
And that’s sick,
Desperate and furious and I don’t know is there anymore words!
People say time heals,
Nothing heals,
10 years or 12 years or 20 years,
Nothing heals!
Cause people like me are always in denial
Cause accepting would hurt, so denial and futile search in anyone or anywhere for the one dead!
And where would that take,
No contentment, never happy!!
That coffin still haunts me,
That love still haunts me,
It will keep till I believe lost is lost and the dead is dead!

P.S.I still got no courage to use the term dead… but now using it , and I’m using it purposefully so that I get in terms with reality somehow, I’m trying to let it go.. when we keep being in denial mode its never gonna heal..trying to cover up the sulking wounds out of fear or pain is not gonna help heal the wound..the first step is let go off denial and accepting, howmuch ever it hurts.. when bad things happen we try to believe it didn’t happen so that we can move on in life, but the thing is we might move on in life but the wound still remains and that really really haunts us later. So the first step is start accepting..with time accepting won’t be as hard as it would have been in the beginning. I try for it now..I don’t know how long I will take it..but I promise myself to make all efforts.
Thanks bearing my insanity🙏

Thoughts and notes!

There are certain inconsistent good people in your life,
And there are certain consistent bad people in your life,
And you are always left with an option of choosing the consistent one,
Good or bad is secondary!
***********

I got very less acquaintances in my life,
I bond deeply!
I seldom go it like a hi and bye,
I go for deeper conversations,
I connect instantly and that’s a problem…

I can never listen to your story and say it like, “hmmm…. things happen…everything will be fine, you will be fine”!
That’s not me,

I can feel you when you narrate your part…
I try not to , But I get it, and that’s a problem!

Why should I feel for you, when it’s your story and your life, you are supposed to feel and I’m just supposed to listen!
But no, I feel…..and I feel a little more than you…
And that’s sort of insane….
************

The parts which I write are the parts which I try to heal,
And the parts which I don’t are the ones left to grieve!

Ananya Surendran 🌸

Tale of an empath!
Bizarre days, thoughts and notes!

Not so silent thoughts!

All the bad chapters take her back to what he said,
All the bad chapters take her back to where she left!
What went this wrong with her not to deserve anything that she truly deserves!
Is it true, when he said, she lack that spark,
that he finds in the always changing another!
May be true,
Even if she ever had that,
She would have lost it so back,
staying with him as in a juvenile home over the years,
From where she always wanted to run off,
But she was just too far away…

***************

This time when he said he wanna caress,
She felt like vomiting, she literally felt like vomiting!
And she realize after all these ages,
After all the drifts and patch ups,
And bounce backs,
All of that consumed ages,
That part somehow everytime wanting for his care is finally over!!
It somehow ended for good!!🙄

But the grudge still exists!
Which means there is yet to move on!
Which means now its pretending to be okay, when it’s not!
By the way that’s the most suitable and familiar role for her, pretending!!
Trained right from childhood,
And now an adept!
Never know when would all these hidden demons flare up!!
And that’s her worst fear!

*************

Nightmares are a hell of a thing right from my childhood,
But now I realize as I wrote more and posted it out , I got less nightmares.
Writing helps and any random people who I hardly know reading it too helps..
I need not answer
I won’t be questioned
I won’t be sympathized
And as I write more I get less nightmares.
There were times I sticked on to wrong people just to get rid off these nightmares you know. Not just one, more than one!
And There were times the wrong ones used to read me bed time stories too..hilarious yet true!
But then, nobody is gonna read you bed time stories everyday,
You sort out your demons yourself..
And this is it.

****************

Ananya Surendran

Hey you!

You wearing a fully covered dress,
And she wearing a mini suit showing her tits or legs,
Doesn’t make you an elite and she a bitch!

May be you don’t show your body,
But by shaming her, you definitely prove unsuccessful hiding your creepy thoughts!
Why would her nudity bother you than your malice mind!
When will you realize that A cloth you wear, Or that part you cover doesn’t define you, but your thoughts definitely do!

A long piece of cloth might save her from further humiliation,
But what will you do with your filthy mind that you carry alongside!
You are born with it I guess!!!

…….Ananya Surendran 😐

Let’s help break the silence.

This is not a cry for help or this is not something I write cause I’m a survivor or I’m a victim.

I write this cause lately I have been noticing people giving bullshit advice on things they have least idea about, or they have no experience and they don’t know how its like.

When you don’t know something the least you can do is just keep your mouth shut and listen quietly those people who have gone through so much.

These people who advice, some of them call themselves counsellors, therapists, motivational speakers, some even call themselves as our friends and family.😬

I mean do they even realise when they offer blunt suggestions, advice and solutions from their fantasy do they even understand what the other person is going through.
One can’t understand the other, is not a crime, but uttering nonsense solutions from ones fantasy is surely the last thing someone should do, I say.

Having said that, there are people who are really kind and generous.
When we go and tell them that something really wrong, this and this has happened, the time and patience they offer to listen without judging, is of immense and immense help.
Again being understanding and being empathetic is another level of greatness of hearts.
Some people can even hug, and hold when they listen to others traumas and that comes out from so much of love.
I’m grateful having experienced all of these.

But I wish to say about another a sort of people, the rarest, hard to find ones.
The ones with courage. Immense courage. Like these days we have been watching Sr Anupama on screen fighting for justice. In such people we see the great strength to stand by the ones who has faced wrong, to get them the right justice.

And that’s never easy.
Cause justice and solutions to serious issues always come with so much of risks and after effects and to face it will be the worst.

And may be because of that people offer lighter options, wrong advice and wrong solutions.

Over the years what I have experienced is whenever something wrong happens 99.9% people around want you to hide that. They will not stand by you to speak up. They will tell you every possible ways in this universe that can force you hide the issue .
As in ” the same happened with me , never mind, forget n move on, do yoga,go for therapy, read self help healing books, meditate” and what else I don’t know.🙄🙄🙄
Just like When there is a deep cut in your hand, applying balm on your forehead won’t help.People who speak these should understand that each kinda problem has each kinda solution. You can’t apply the one thing you know everywhere.

I’m not saying all these won’t help. These might help but more than help all these are also a sort of silencing the person suffering.
When the actual solution lies in opening up and speaking up, these are indirectly asking the person suffering to bear in silence when you never know how grave it is. And that’s wrong.


There is a malayalam movie Stand up in which the role Nimisha (heroine’s frnd) played reminds me of one of my very bold friend. There is a scene when Nimisha tells Rajeesha, the heroine that they will fight this together and I felt like watching my friend on screen😊. She was very much like that.
Never later or before I met someone like her in real life. Cause such people are rare.
People who tell you what’s the right solution for your problem and never to hide.


In a world that prefers a victim’s silence more than noise, people courageous enough to stand by them for speaking up, for their justice are the rarest and hard to find.
Salutes to all them.
I wish to say, not all of us can be the rarest and courageous but atleast we can try not to be the worst. Let the voice of the people who faced wrong be heard loud. Let’s not silence them.

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